One of my favorite things....

is (are) cloth diapers! Yep, with Jif I took the plunge & tried them. With a little trial & error I've found the cloth diaper I love! The Kawaii Baby diaper can be found at theluvyourbaby.com in many colors & styles. They are easy to use, wash & dry (which can sometimes be more trial & error!) Cloth diapers are not as bad/hard to use as some believe. Sure, there is a tad more work but not having to constantly BUY diapers is wonderful! And Kawaii Baby diapers are VERY reasonably priced compared to other cloth diaper systems. You should really check them out!

If you'd like a chance to win a Kawaii Baby diaper, head to Life of This SAHM where she is GENEROUSLY hosting a giveaway for one! She loves these diapers too! Thanks Life of This SAHM for the chance to win!

52 days & counting! Seriously.

People...there are only 52 days until Christmas! Holy moly! Have you started shopping yet? Have you thought about Christmas cards? Our family just had our picture taken this past weekend so I'm all about getting Christmas cards taken care of soon.

This year, I'm going to try Shutterfly for Christmas cards. I've gotten many photo greeting cards from them in the past & have been really impressed. It's just so cool that you can customize a card just for that someone special!

I am totally going to enjoy browsing through Shutterfly's 700+ holiday cards! I love that sort of thing! I haven't made my final selection but a few favorites are "Most Wonderful Story" 5x7 folded card, "Merry & Bright", & "Puzzle Pieces Christmas" 5x7 folded card. Since photos (and sharing them with family & friends) are some of my favorite things, I'm excited to get this project rolling!

Shutterfly is offering 20% off all holiday cards right now so if you'd like to check them out, go HERE.

They also have some REALLY cute gift tags and return address labels. I love all the colors on these things!

Anywho, I'm so excited for this Christmas season...I've got quite a few gifts for the kidlets already. It's so much fun figuring out what each one likes and personalizing their gifts!

Happy gift-giving everyone!

decisions, decisions

Hey. Want an update?



-Jif is 6 months old, almost sitting by herself, & is growing like a weed.



A very large weed in fact.



She is leaps & bounds bigger than ever her big brothers were at this age. Yikes!





-Skippy is in preschool & loving it! Since we are holding him back a year, he is quite a bit older than most of the children there.

And he got his first combine ride this fall since Farmer planted corn & soybeans. He said,



"That was the funnest combine ride ever!"





-Peter Pan is a mighty 2nd grader & getting too big for his britches.



Just kidding!



Maybe.



He wants to wait for the bus by himself! No more mom! =(

Seriously, he is such an awesome kid! He is in LOVE with legos.



Oh. My. Word. Does he love them!

They are everywhere!





-Farmer is extra busy now that the leaves are starting to fall. Farming is slowing down now; he just got a load of beef feeders for next year's butcher and in a few weeks he'll be taking 12 hogs to the processor.

Unfortunately we did not go on vacation this year & is he ever missing his R & R! He is never able to fully relax unless we are MILES away from all his work. I hope he can hold out another year!



-At the beginning of July I was fortunate (insert sarcasm here) enough to experience the pain of plantar fasciitis in both feet. Oh the pain! I was pretty much out of commission for 2 months & I'm still not back to my old self.

The house is almost 100% finished. Remember the family room mess? And we had siding put on the house too.





So, I'm thinking hoping the Summer of Chaos is finally on the way out. And I'm left with some decisions to make.

I am SO craving calm, simplicity, organization...and I'm realizing how much work & discipline that is going to take- physically, mentally & spiritually.

Do I keep this little blog going or not? I really DON'T need to blog; we live 5 minutes away from most of our family. I'm not blogging to provide extra income. And there is always that little nagging in the back of mind to write a post.



But I do kind of like it. It could have great potential.



So.



Maybe I'll be back.



Or maybe I won't.



Who knows?



Because I sure don't!

*Sigh*

Hmm, what a coincidence that it is 2 months to the day that I last posted. Two months!

*sigh*

I really want to be a good blogger.

I really do.

But for some reason I have this gigantic impenetratable mental wall that I can't seem to scale. And it's not just affecting my blogging...

Oh no.

It's before me when I need to make supper.

It's right in front of me when I need to clean the toilet.

It's smacking me in the nose when I need to pull all those darn weeds in the garden.

I'm fighting....with myself.

And it's not because " I just had a baby!" I've heard that one WAY too many times. For Pete's sake, Jif sleeps through the night, like 7-9 hours through the night. It's not like I'm sleep deprived. And she's a pretty content baby, thank goodness.

I could go on complaining, giving reasons for this or that, but that won't do any of us any good. Maybe someday I'll figure it all out and magically change. =)

Until then, I'll keep taking one hard-fought step at a time.

Baby Jif's here!

Baby Jif arrived @ 12:30 pm on April 10, a beautiful spring day! It is quite an interesting story so I thought I'd share, as much for me to have a record as anything. But I do always enjoy hearing about others' birth stories. Here is ours in a timeline....(as close as I can recall)

Friday evening, April 9 - some Braxton-Hicks & other things told me it might not be too long until we meet Jif. However, later that night, everything stopped.

6:40 Saturday morning April 10 - woke up to some mild contractions every now & then but could sleep, so I did.

8:00 am - contractions about the same but I decide to get up & start the day & get some last things done b/c by now I'm pretty sure it will be the day.

10:30 am - my parents come to pick up the boys, they were going to anyway; the contractions are a little stronger but still not very long or very close together.

11:15 am - I decide to get in the bath to see if it will help me relax. While in the bath, contractions start harder & closer. I decide I better get out & get ready to go but can only move in slow motion it seems!

11:40 am - tell Farmer (who was sticking close by) to come in & get ready. He was ready in record time.

11:53 am - get in the van to go to the hospital. Text a few people but then need to concentrate on those contractions! It seemed to me to be a short ride (usually 25 minutes) to the hospital b/c I couldn't pay attention to the road. Farmer was disgusted with traffic however! =) One thing I do remember is hearing one of my favorite songs playing on the CD; the song?...Deliver Me. No joke!

12:15 pm - by now I know the baby is coming soon! I can actually walk in; we skip the registration desk (I neglected to pre-register, oops!) & head straight for the OB unit. The nurse starts asking questions to get us in the computer; Farmer doesn't know all the answers & I fill in when possible. I'm sitting & waiting for the contractions to ease up but they keep coming. Another nurse comes to take us to our room & asks if I'd like a wheelchair; thankfully the contractions stop for a minute & I say "Nope! Let's go!" While walking to the room, she asks if I'd like an epidural. In my head I think "There won't be time for that." Out loud I say, "Nope." I get dressed in one of those lovely gowns & the nurse starts asking more unimportant questions, to me at least. =)

12:19 pm - I feel a small urge to push & tell the nurse so she finally decides to check me. I'm 8. What! Only 8? I can't take much more of this! She calls other nurses & my doctor. By now my body has taken over, I have no control & the baby is coming out! My doctor still hasn't come so they call a doctor who just happened to still be there (& I've never met) filling out some paperwork. She comes in & I remember her saying, "Nice to meet you."

12:30 pm - With great relief, Jif makes her appearance & so does my doctor! We were told later that he came strolling onto the unit & asked what room we were in & the nurse told him, "She delivered in room 16." He took off almost running! =)

By 1:00 pm everything & everyone is back together & where they should be; Jif in my arms included!

What makes this story so interesting is that I had no idea that my water had broken sometime in those 4 1/2 hours. How do you not know something like that? I thought once maybe that it had but never saw or felt anything to tell me for sure. And by the time I decided it was time to go & that it was probably obvious that it had broken, I could have cared less!

We are all doing well, the boys LOVE Jif & Farmer is pretty taken with her too! =)

When It Rains, It Pours

To end any confusion off the bat, Jif did not make her appearance yet! Two posts in one week is quite a shock, I know, but I have a lot on my mind & wanted to share.

Let's start at the beginning....

Earlier this year, we received a letter from Peter Pan's school telling us that he failed the routine hearing tests. We knew he hadn't been hearing well but weren't sure what to do about it but with the letter as a referral to the doctor, we made some appointments. It came to light that Peter Pan's adenoids were very infected & he had temporary hearing loss of 40-45%! The doc tried antibiotics but to no avail, Peter Pan was going to have to have surgery. Goodbye tonsils, goodbye adenoids & hello ear tubes! And it had to be done before Jif came. The only problem came when we found out the surgery center wasn't in our insurance network; they worked with us & are charging what our insurance would, but none of it will go to our deductible. Since we're having a baby soon it would have been nice to knock part of it out but, well, Peter Pan needed to be fixed, so we just did it. (And he came through surgery & 2-3 weeks of recovery with flying colors!)

Now that Jif still hasn't made an appearance I fear that I will once again be induced. I've not known any different since both boys were basically induced. (that's a whole other post!) And I'm thinking having the baby "on your own" is probably a little cheaper than being induced & blah, blah, blah. Well, I'm coming to terms that it will probably happen again & there isn't much else I can do about it, so we'll just have to go with it.

Last fall, we had some water damage in our family room from a downspout that didn't work properly & was going to be one of Farmer's winter projects. Well, there was a little bit too much snow for Farmer to plow & it never got done & honestly, to us, it didn't seem to be getting worse. Until this warm weather at least. Then it started to smell & Farmer paniced knowing that baby Jif is coming soon & he didn't want to take any chances! So we had someone come look at it & after digging in, discovered a whole other set of problems that probably existed before we even moved here! It went from being a "1 piece of drywall & carpet cleaning-Farmer can do it" project to a "knock out drywall, replace rotting wood, replace window(s) & siding, & dig out all flower beds, we need a pro's help" renovation. And to top it off, the guy is here working right now, fixing the wood at ground level (you can see the outside ground THROUGH the wall) & it's raining. More water anyone?

ACK!

But you know, quite honestly, God has granted me peace through the whole evolution of realizing what all this means this week. He's even shown me some silver linings through it all...

-We went through Dave Ramsay's Financial Peace University about a year ago & have been working at getting more out of debt & saving, etc. If we hadn't been this far along in our financial journey....oh I don't even want to think about it! This WILL NOT be smooth sailing for us, AT ALL, but we know what to do & it could have been so much worse!

-As much as I ranted in my last post about going late with baby Jif & how depressed I was about it, knowing what I know now, Jif is better off where she is for a bit longer. Can you imagine having a newborn around all the destruction & dust & whatever else goes on in renovations?



I guess I wrote this post to vent a little, even though I have peace about it all. But I think more than that, I wanted to share with you all that God really does know what he's doing. He cares, He really does. And I'm learning (Again!) that focusing on yourself & having pity parties, doesn't open your eyes to what He wants to show you. It has to be about HIM. Only Him.

Just so you know I'm still alive...

It's been over a month again, sheesh, I just can't get it together! For most of March I was getting all the little things ready for baby Jif & a few other projects around the house. I've been painting, sewing, & cleaning baby things mostly. I have pictures to share of what I've been up to but have not the patience to upload them.

The last couple of weeks have been hard, physically & emotionally. Some days I can barely walk because of some pain or another, some days I can't take the waiting any longer & some days are both...today is definitely one of those! Tomorrow is my due date...once again I will see it come and go. Peter Pan & Skippy were late so I shouldn't be surprised but this time around, I was pregnant with a host of other ladies & ALL of them had their babies at least 1 week early. So I suppose I was hoping it would happen to me too but no such luck. I'm having a hard time not drowning myself in my own little pity party, but when you can barely function well enough to get daily tasks done, well...

I don't suppose you'll hear from me until baby Jif is here. Maybe by then I will feel up to sharing all the pictures of my projects & the ones I will be taking of Jif. Until then, I hope you enjoy the spring weather we've been blessed with!

FINALE! 28 Day Organizing Challenge

Here they are, the before & afters of our attic space! After going up the stairs, the pictures go counter-clockwise around the room. Enjoy!



Stairway landing:





West gable end:

(Christmas decorations, memoribilia, out-of-season jackets, farmer's farm toys)

*notice the metal platform

South side:

(sewing supplies, crafts, home decor, some baby stuff, a few extra containers)

East gable end:

(kids' clothes) *another metal platform



North side:

(furniture, baby equipment)

There are 5 questions that need to be answered for this challenge:

1. What was the hardest part of the challenge for you and were you able to overcome it?

I always start a project with gusto & then as the work keeps dragging on I oftentimes slack off & even quit, so that was the hard part for me! I did slow down, partly because of the latter but we also had sickness running through the house during the middle of the month. What a good excuse to slow down, right? But! I did finish! And now that I'm 35 weeks pregnant, AM I GLAD FOR THAT! =)

2. Tell us what kind of changes/habits you have put into place in order for your area/room to maintain its new order?

Seeing all the junk, the ridiculousness of it all hit me. What is this stuff really doing for me? Nothing but making me feel, on the inside, what all the clutter looks like on the outside. I'm determined to decide & purge right from the get-go when things need to be dealt with. And I want to start doing a better job of getting the boys involved in the decisions too.

3. What did you do with the “stuff” you were able to purge out of your newly organized space?

Most of it went to our local donation center, 2 van loads to be exact. There was a minimal amount of trash. The biggest thing I discovered was that I had WAY too many storage containers! They took up a lot of space. Farmer wants to use some of the empty ones for his garage come spring & the rest...will find good homes with someone else!

4. What creative storage solutions were you able to introduce in order to create additional space as well as establish some limits and boundaries?

I had a nice dresser & hope chest that were made by family (did not want to part with!) but didn't have a home anywhere else at the moment, so I put them to use storing crafts & a few heirloom quilts I have. My dad was kind enough to humor me by making some metal platforms to go over top of some heating ducts so I could use the wasted space above them. However, these were made before this challenge but are a very important part of this organizing success.

5. Why do you think you should win this challenge?

Being a realistic girl, I know there are a lot of nicer, better organized, & prettier spaces than mine in this challenge that can win & that decision is for the judges & not me. I didn't enter this challenge to win a prize (although if I did, I would be ecstatic, ECSTATIC!). This WAS a challenge, something I needed to push myself out of my comfort zone & succeed at. I think I did; I'm excited that I accomplished what I did & I love to share that excitement. I'm not my own biggest fan so starting & actually finishing felt great.

If you want to see what this is all about, click on the Organizing Junkie button below & take a look! And thanks to Organizing Junkie & everyone involved for putting this together; it was fun!

February 2010

These pictures are pretty but please...NO MORE SNOW! =)

Week 4 update

Here are some last pictures of week 4:

Lots & lots of old papers!

Not much left...YES!

Another reason the attic seemed so cluttered was that I have A LOT of storage containers & they were not all full. Most of these containers have smaller containers stacked inside of them.

I will be posting the final before & after pictures tomorrow!

Catching Up

No, I haven't given up pr forgotten about posting about the organizing challenge; I'm just not quite with it! =)

After going through more stuff in the attic, I've realized what a great job I did about a year ago while getting things ready for a garage sale. There is actually a lot less than I thought there was. Yay! So I've been working more on deciding & trying out where things will go after I'm all done. So, there are no pictures!

This is the last week of the challenge so I do need to go through all the old papers/bills & get them organized (I'm procrastinating with that one!) then I need to get EVERYTHING back in place & nice and neat. I see the light at the end of the tunnel! =)

Me, me, me

We discussed chapter 2 of Francis Chan's Crazy Love in Sunday School today; there is so much to think about in this chapter.

"On the average day, we live caught up in ourselves. On the average day, we don't consider God very much. On the average day, we forget that our life truly is a vapor." Crazy Love, p. 39

"Both worry & stress reak of arrogance." p.42

"Why are we so quick to forget God? Who do we think we are? I find myself relearning this lesson often. Even though I glimpse God's holiness, I am still dumb enough to forget that life is all about God and not at all about me." p.42

"You could be the next person in your family to die. I could be the nest person at my church to die. We have to realize it. We have to believe it enough that it changes how we live. " p.50-51



This life is about me. The way I worry about whether Jif is a girl or not, the way I parent, the way I think my opinions are right, the way I drive, the way I treat my husband, the way he treats me, the way I get upset when snow ruins our plans, blah, blah, blah.

It hurts to see the truth, that we are just a vapor here on this planet, a mist that will lift & then be forgotten. It hurts to realize that I am so arrogant, my pride doesn't like it. But will it change the way I live? Frankly, I need to get over myself.

Week 2 update & Week 3 Plan

Week 2 threw me a curveball so I didn't get everything done that I wanted. I only have an after picture of the clothes part of the week....



Believe me when I say that before the sort, it would never have fit into this tiny closet. I also realized that I had already decimated my craft stash last year; all I needed to do was get rid of all the leftovers from last summer's garage sale! (I've had a garage sale almost every year for quite a few years but I've decided that with baby Jif coming, I just won't have the time or energy to do it again & the clutter just needs to be gone!)

I'd still like to go through all my home decor stuff & purge even more; having kids has limited my decorating & I've come to realize less really can look awesome.

Curveball #1 came in the form of a second round of snow midweek-which means Peter Pan was home from school & Farmer was out A LOT doing this:

I realize not everyone has the opportunity these days to have a good job or to make overtime but Farmer put in 54 extra hours of work in 8 days! He has to be up & at work sometimes by 4:00 am. Unfortunately right now, one of their 2 trucks is out of commission which makes everything take twice as long. And we are expecting more snow again this week. Ugh.

Curveball #2 came when Skippy woke up Thursday with a fever, so on Friday, I took him & Peter Pan to their doctors. Skippy has a bilateral ear infection & Peter Pan has infected adenoids with the possibilty of having to get them removed after the infection is cleared up. We knew Peter Pan had been having trouble with his hearing & now we know why! So both are on antibiotics for 10 days.

Curveball #3 is that I now have a sinus/head cold & don't feel like doing a whole lot.

Needless to say, it has not been a routine week & it's been hard for me to stay on track.

For week 3 I would like to finish with home decor & start on paper/old bills, personal mementos (you know, all that stuff you save from high school), old electronic equipment/current equipment boxes, etc. & all the baby equipment shoved back in the corner. Oohh, it's going to be a long week! I am also hoping to prime & paint the shelves Farmer made for baby Jif's room sometime too. I have a feeling all this won't happen but I'll give it my best shot!

I better get to work...

Week 2 Plan

Week 2 is here! This weekend I took a vanload of stuff to the donation center...it felt good, but I sometimes still fight the guilt of getting rid of something. "What if we need that?!" It's all good though. I also repainted baby Jif's room and I think this time it's just what I was looking for. I also ordered new fabric (on sale!) for curtains....so cute!

This week I will be focusing on CLOTHES, CRAFTS/HOME DECOR, & FURNITURE. There are a lot of off-season coats & jackets that need to be purged & I'm just going to have to get tough & slaughter my craft stash. Hope I can do it! =) I doubt there will be any furniture leaving, but there isn't a whole lot. (We'll see when I get up there & dig around though!)

Week One - Done!

I can't believe it, but week one is done already & I couldn't wait until Friday to show the before & afters!

Toys before:


Toys after:

(These are not all the toys Peter Pan & Skippy have, just the ones that were shoved up in the attic. BUT all together there is quite a bit less!)

Christmas before:

Christmas after:

(I didn't have a lot in the way of Christmas decorations, etc. so the after isn't a whole lot different but definitely more organized! Going through it all I found things I didn't know I had.)

I do still need to box everything up & head to the donation center; I can't wait to get it out of Jif's room! It was clean & spacious for the first time in a long time & now it's back to being full so I'm ready to have it that way again, even if only for the weekend until week 2 starts. =)

P.A.A.

P.A.A. = Plan of Attack for the Attic.

I will post a plan of attack at the first of the week and progress pictures at the end of the week for the next 4 weeks and I'm counting on you to keep me accountable! =)

Here is the plan for this first week:

Monday: figure out master plan of attack Done!
Tuesday: collect & sort* through toys!
Wednesday: toys again!
Thursday: sort through Christmas decorations
Friday: take pictures & post
first trip to donation center

*Sort means dividing into 3 categories: Keep, Donate, Trash

Nesting

*If you came here from OrgJunkies challenge, please click this link to get to the right post. I don't know how to fix it! Sorry!*



I guess they call it nesting, that weird phenomenon during pregnancy where cleaning & organizing & decorating....Must.Be.Done. I think I'm there. I've already painted baby Jif's room, complete with flowers & birds & bugs (I'm starting to get into the girl thing), I even sewed some valances. But, I don't like it. (I'm blaming my fickleness on this pregnancy ok?) Soooo, I'm going to pick out a better shade of paint & cover up those tacky little flowers & animals and go with something a little more sophisticated & not-so-childish. And maybe sew some more curtains to go with. I also have quite a bit of other sewing I want to do before the baby comes (which by the way will be in about 10 weeks). Not to mention painting walls & a BUNCH of shelves that sweet Farmer is making for Peter Pan & Skippy's room. I have my plate full! But since I am in the nesting stage, I want to get as much done as possible...which brings me to the attic. The over-stuffed, go-to space for any junk stuff that needs to be out of any room in the main house. It's horrible! See....! Oh the shame! =) And not to mention just plain not safe! Org Junkie is starting a challenge today & it goes thru the month of February. I am going to try my hardest to get this attic into tip-top shape this month & enjoy the tips & encouragement Laura has for us challengers! I think my best chance to get this done is to make a plan/list/schedule to try to stick to; that is what I'll be doing the rest of today & tomorrow. If you'd like to join too, click on the button & it'll take you to all the details! There are prizes too!

I do really want to do this & get it done this month but always in the back of my mind I have the thought that I will fail & that I will be a laughingstock for even having tried. I know, I know, I'm trying to overcome things like this in my life so I will be bold and post this & REALLY try to get all of my projects completed.

That should mean plenty of "post"ing material for you faithful readers! =)

P.S. I've been trying to post a short video tour of the attic but I can't seem to get it to upload anywhere! Grrrr!!! Maybe I will be able to post it on my Before & After post on March 1!

We Just Don't Get It

There is one thing that has slowly been seeping into the corners of my thoughts....none of us get It, not really. The lives we're living? They're pretty much a sham. I don't think we realize just what It is that we're missing in the day-to-day "stuff" we call life. THIS is not life. HE is life.

I don't get It. Sure, I believe Jesus is the Way, the Truth & the Life, the only way to the Father, but I still don't get It. I believe in the 10 commandments, but I still don't get It. I believe that we must love God best & first & our neighbors as ourselves, but I still don't get It.

It saddens me to see everyone else missing It too. A lot.



But.



There is Someone who is crazy about me & if I let Him, He will show It to me.

Answers

I love it when God sends answers to questions in ways you weren't expecting!

I have never read through the entire Bible. Sad, but true. I'd heard about the 90-day Bible so I thought I'd give it a shot beginning January 1st. (It's not a resolution, just a great time to start something new!) So far, I've gotten all the way to Joshua & let me tell you, Leviticus was hard! Deuteronomy too! And after reading those books, it just seemed to me like it would have been virtually impossible to live up to the commands & sacrifices & all that God gave His people. So many thoughts about these things were swirling around in my head; what about this? What about that? It's definitely had me thinking. We watched a video (1 within a series) done by Andy Stanley in sunday school this morning; he was talking about the twist the word sin has taken to the word mistake. A lot of the things I had been thinking about/questioning from the old testament were talked about in the video and especially how it connects to Jesus in the new testament. God just made it so clear to me today & I'm grateful that He showed me through an avenue I wouldn't have thought would lead to where it did.

I am not always able to accurately articulate what I'm thinking so I'm hoping all of this isn't confusing. But I wanted to share God's faithfulness with you, His faithfulness even in the little things because it was so cool to be sitting in class thinking, "Thank you Lord for caring about what I'm thinking & learning that you would bring this to me now."

It's just amazing to me.

My Thoughts on baby Jif...

Well, for Christmas we told everyone who baby Jif is going to be, or at least who we were told Jif is going to be! =)

Jif is a girl!

Hmm, I'm not sure what to think about this. I guess this post is more for me to process through the thoughts I'm struggling with today than anything.

Really, is Jif REALLY a girl? I don't believe it! I want to but seriously, I'm having a hard time convincing myself; I want to buy cute pink things, paint flowers on the walls, etc. but girls are so rare in Farmer's family & I really never thought I would have a girl that I'm afraid to do much! It's more the worrying that the prediction is wrong & I'LL look like an idiot for believing it & telling everyone who've been waiting for a girl, than the fact it wouldn't actually be a girl. I'm really struggling with this. And to be clear...if Jif actually turns out to be a boy, I will not be sad. Disappointed that pink & girly wouldn't be in the picture but not sad that it's a boy, it's what I would have expected anyway!

I almost wish we wouldn't have found out! Then I wouldn't be having such a conniption because as anyone who knows me or my family genetics knows, worrying is deeply ingrained in the brain!

And I don't think Farmer & I will ever get a name picked out, this one seems to be so much harder than with Peter Pan or Skippy. And we're still going to have a boy's name ready, just in case!

And I can't even explain how scary I think it is to even raise a girl! The emotions-I've just started getting a little bit of control over my own, how am I going to handle another female's craziness! The physical differences-this will be easier to adjust to but still scary! On and on my brain would go if I let it...

Do you think I'm crazy by now? I'm starting to think I am! Well, anyway, thanks for listening, I needed to get that out of my head & into some concrete form. I'd also be grateful for your prayers! As silly as this may seem to some of you, it's actually quite a big deal to me and I don't want it to be! I want to enjoy these last 3 months!