My Thoughts on baby Jif...

Well, for Christmas we told everyone who baby Jif is going to be, or at least who we were told Jif is going to be! =)

Jif is a girl!

Hmm, I'm not sure what to think about this. I guess this post is more for me to process through the thoughts I'm struggling with today than anything.

Really, is Jif REALLY a girl? I don't believe it! I want to but seriously, I'm having a hard time convincing myself; I want to buy cute pink things, paint flowers on the walls, etc. but girls are so rare in Farmer's family & I really never thought I would have a girl that I'm afraid to do much! It's more the worrying that the prediction is wrong & I'LL look like an idiot for believing it & telling everyone who've been waiting for a girl, than the fact it wouldn't actually be a girl. I'm really struggling with this. And to be clear...if Jif actually turns out to be a boy, I will not be sad. Disappointed that pink & girly wouldn't be in the picture but not sad that it's a boy, it's what I would have expected anyway!

I almost wish we wouldn't have found out! Then I wouldn't be having such a conniption because as anyone who knows me or my family genetics knows, worrying is deeply ingrained in the brain!

And I don't think Farmer & I will ever get a name picked out, this one seems to be so much harder than with Peter Pan or Skippy. And we're still going to have a boy's name ready, just in case!

And I can't even explain how scary I think it is to even raise a girl! The emotions-I've just started getting a little bit of control over my own, how am I going to handle another female's craziness! The physical differences-this will be easier to adjust to but still scary! On and on my brain would go if I let it...

Do you think I'm crazy by now? I'm starting to think I am! Well, anyway, thanks for listening, I needed to get that out of my head & into some concrete form. I'd also be grateful for your prayers! As silly as this may seem to some of you, it's actually quite a big deal to me and I don't want it to be! I want to enjoy these last 3 months!